Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
