On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
