I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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