I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Your penis caused this!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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