His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Let's get the cat blown out
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
