I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize