It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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