Me too!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We have started to decorate penises.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
