I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
