with your own penis?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
