How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
