Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
