fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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