I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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