Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
