She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
