so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize