all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
