Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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