Is it normal to miss your booty call?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
