fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize