Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
