Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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