you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
