I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize