Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
