Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
