Got a toothbrush?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize