so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
