Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
