Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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