I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize