she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
