my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
