Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We left the knife in your bed.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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