drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
