Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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