Will you blow on my dice?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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