My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
lol hangovers are for mortals.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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