we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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