I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
