Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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