Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
