On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
