He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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