his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
