Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
