Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Come on in and take your pants off
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