Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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