Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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