Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
