mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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