So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
