haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
