Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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