She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
