Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
