I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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