Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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