I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
