3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
