yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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