he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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