I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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