I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
