there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
being pregnant is like rehab
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
