Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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