Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
